Thursday, May 31, 2012

Let Live The Child in Me

You are as old as you think you are. Age doesn’t really matter. This has sure worked for me. Many of us loose our childhood somewhere while running in the rat race. We seldom forget that there is something called as ‘Me time’ which could as stupid as sitting on a swing in a park, making sand castles, playing hop-scotch, lagori, sakli, khoko, tug-of-war, hide-n-seek or simply dancing in the rain. Whether you like it or not, there is always a child in you that will make you do the silliest thing and give you a sense of immense happiness that you cannot fathom.

I remember not carrying an umbrella one day and to my dismay, it rained heavily that evening. Instead of enjoying the cool breeze and cold water gushing on my face, I was irritated. To add to my problems, I did not get a single rickshaw or bus from the railway station to my home. Therefore, I started walking home, which by the way is a 20-minute walk. 5 minutes into the walking and my mind started questioning me, why are you so grumpy? Have forgotten how happy you would feel as a kid to get wet in the rain? What is stopping you from enjoying every second of this moment? Are you wondering what people will think of you? At that moment, I realized that yes, maybe I am giving so much importance to what others think of me that I have forgotten how to live that moment. In a jiffy, I took of my shoes, removed the scarf from my head and started walking. A little ahead, I seen a puddle of water and did exactly what my heart told me….yes I jumped into the puddle splashing water all around. Gosh, it was so much fun. From then onwards, I made it a point to care ‘less’ about what the world thinks and do exactly what I want to do. This has changed my perspective towards life . I decided to keep the kid in me alive come what may. I enjoyed everything from playing enrolling for classical dancing which was my passion, learning with 4 year olds, playing holi with the kids using all possible techno colors, licking my fingers if the food was yummy………the list is too long to mention!

Another incident that is fresh in my mind is when I caught up with my school friends. The amazing bit was that we were back to being those cute teenagers, all in giggles, hugging and cuddling each other. Sharing whereabouts and all other information about all the chaps we knew. Decided to ‘sing’ a birthday song for our friend loudly. We were laughing throughout the evening and little did we realize that we were happy simply because we had unleashed the ‘kid’ in us.

Happiness is what makes every cell in your body vibrant. Happiness is when you play with you kid and laugh at their jokes ‘loud and clear’. Happiness is when you play oranges-n-lemon with your friends and they fight when they get caught. Happiness is when you don’t hesitate to lick your fingers while eating a mango even though you are wearing a professional attire. Happiness is when you don’t hesitate to climb up a tree and steal a mango even when your 30. If the kid in you is alive, your metabolism will always be at its peak. The child in you will always bring the ‘true and honest’ version of yourself. You will not have to make extra efforts to convince people about what you think or who you are. Live a happy fulfilling life, search for the child in you. I am happy coz I have still kept alive the child in me!

Monday, May 28, 2012

Lovers meet but never mate!

They say love is a heart thing! When you know this is the person, a nerve in your heart simply stretches or relaxes for you to know Oh! I did feel something for him/her. Am I in Love? You must have come across people in your life fitting the description of your perfect match or should I say you would love to LOVE!. But…and there is a big BUT…you never end up spending the rest of your life with him/her. They just become the past...maybe a good or bad memory. I often think, if they were never meant to be then why god destines for us to us cross paths with them. Why did he show us a mirage that we could never have. Ideally, if this is the so-called perfect person at the surface who actually is a horrendous chap inside, it would have been a happy realization to ‘not have been with him/her’. But, if that is not the case, then why does god create this destiny where this person moves far and I mean very far from you. He/she seems like the moon, which brings light into the darkness of the night..but when reality hits, you simply can’t see it.
They say as you grow older your preferences change. And what are these so called preferences, wealth, persona, intelligence, physical appearances, pleasure, enjoyment..and many others. Surprisingly, every time your preferences change, you do cross paths with this perfect person.  However at that point, he/she seems unreachable. Worst sometimes you say something so foolish that even if he/she considers you, you blow the entire relationship, which could blossom into something beautiful.  I guess a case worst than this is you meet the person when you are sitting with the person you have decided to commit you life you. The dilemma you go through cannot be fathomed. The mental and emotional trauma is inevitable. What do you do then? Leave the person you know since a long time who may not be your lover but will be your mate through thick and thin? Or tell your heart, he/she may be my lover at the face of it but I am not sure. I’d rather be with the person who ‘I know in my head’ will lead the way when I am direction less, will give a shoulder to cry when I am distressed, will wipe my tears when I am in sorrow, will understand my needs even when I don’t share it. The conflict inside you will continue until eternity. However, you will never tend to get the answer. On the other hand, I have seen people who know that this person is right for me but never really have the courage to walk up to them and say that they do. The only fear is ‘rejection’. But, is rejection the only reason? It could be ‘ego’ ‘inferiority complex’ or sheer incapability to express their views. Sad part is no one really thinks about it and simple let the opportunity pass away. Luck are those people who marry the person they love, unlucky are those whose love ‘evaporates’ once they are committed.  But how would you categorise first those people who never accept or worst don’t know that ‘this is the person who I love’ and second those who don’t pay heed to the feelings of the people who they love simply because they have some fears that they cannot overcome.  It could be a bad experience or some preconceived notion. They never want to give that second chance and simple live at the mercy of fate. If they knew somehow that reciprocation is also ‘love’ there could be a chance of a beautiful tomorrow for them. Wonder when we sit at the prime of our life, would we be lucky enough to have that one person sitting next to us who we know is our lover. But we all know….there are only Ifs and Buts …since most of the time - lovers meet but never mate!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Falling in love with the wrong person!

Opposites attract…we must have heard this phrase over a million times. As a matter of fact if we look at couples around us, we observe that every individual in the couple has opposite traits of the other. Then the question is how in the world did these guys meet? Why of all people did they choose each other? What is the underlying feeling of falling in love with the person who you are not? Is it destiny to fall in love with the wrong person?
I must share one such conversation, which quite amused me. I met an old family friend who is nearing 80 years. I had the good luck of spending quality time with him during one of my visits to his place. He worked in a bank all his life. Lived a very systematic life, likes to maintain a strict regime, plan agendas, ensure to dress-up prim and proper, loves to eat good food, loves to travel and most importantly keep himself busy. Its obvious, given his age, that he had an arranged marriage. He married a beautiful looking happy go lucky girl, 10 years his junior. Being quite simple, she never really bothered to dress up prim and proper from head to toe, she hated cooking and travelling and loved to sleep and laze around. Stunned? Well this is the fact. They spent the next 50 years of their life together and never really fought until now. Do you want to know why? Well till he was hale and hearty, he would always go out on his own, eat out whenever he felt like, caught up with his brothers  for a drink and lived life on his own terms. Thus indicating that he himself was capable to suffice his needs and wants. But there came a time when he had to undergo an operation and his movement was restricted. He had to rely on his wife and children for many basic things. That’s when he got time to think about how his life had progressed and he realized that he did not fulfill any of his wishes. prior to his retirement, he had planned to visit a lot of places after his tenure.But alas! since his wife was not interested and prefered to stay at home, that plan did not materalised. At the dawn of his life he realized that all his life he was married to the wrong person and wished that he met one person who would share his interests, someone with to have a 'heart-to-heart- conversation and be his friend in his old age.
Another such case is that of a very close friend of mine. She is a person who doesn’t really have a check list. Prior to her marriage she believed that when the time is right, her man will come in her life.  She however always knew that she would anyday prefer marrying a person who refrained from smoking and drinking, be witty and predictable.  Guess what, she fell in love with a person who loves drinking (but not an alcoholic), loves smoking (is a complete chimeny), is quite shy but few pegs down and his emerges to have the persona of a different person altogether. But yes! she did take the plunge! I must say that he is a wonderful human being though but nothing like I envisaged she would get married too. When I look at her today being happily married (touchwood), I ask myself over ten thousand times, how did she know he was right for her when everything about him, 'according to her in him' was wrong. Someone once told me that ‘Lovers meet but never mate ; Fate will always introduce you to the other lover’ and now after looking at such fantastic examples, I truly believe in this. I have also agreed with what my mom always tells me ‘Couples are made in Heaven, someone somewhere is always there for you. When you meet him/her you will be surprised. Obviously since they are topsy-turvy version of what you thought your life partner would be!’ So don't shy away from meeting the person who is 'not your type' for all you know, he may the 'wrong' in your eyes...but the 'right' person for you!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Fun Time at the beach

If someone says, ‘Oh! You have got a wonderful tan’ to a person belong to a country obsessed with fair skin, it is not usually taken well since the interpretation is ‘you skin is looking awful’. This is one of the main reasons, why many of us refrain from enjoying a good summer afternoon on the beach.

I remember earlier on any such even where we have had a blast enjoying on the beach, my mother would keep a small bowl of besan-dhai for us to bathe. The reason is obvious Mumma’s perception - dark girls don’t get good boys! Today however, we should really thankful to the persistent effort of the R&D scientists working with cosmetic companies, we have wonder anti tan products, which have changed these perceptions. So don’t shy away. You want a testimony, I will give you one.

Last week I was at my hometown Mangalore. There are lush clean beaches with the whitest sand I have ever seen, Panamboor beach, Mulki Beach, Kapu Beach, Maple Beach to name some. I had the good luck of spending some time on each of the thankfully. By far the best experience was at the Mulki beach, which is less commercialized. We got into our shorts, packed our picnic bags with sandwiches, fruits, drinks and other basic necessities and rode off to the beach. What we didn’t know is our cousins had planned a fantastic playground for us. As we entered the lane to land on the beach, we were mesmerized by the beauty of the sea, the clear sky, the spotless beach shinning in the morning sun. The most amazing part was the small volleyball court created by my cousins. At the border of the court were some small mats neatly laid for the spectators. We were quite impressed must say. As we started settling down, we rubbed our skin with sunscreens & anti tan lotions and lay down on the mats to get as much Vitamin D as possible, a rare commodity for us city dwellers. After a while, I joined the gang to play volleyball and boy we had a blast.

We girls decided to go on a long stroll on the beach, and the boys decided to go for a swim. After a while the boys said, why don’t we take a stroll in the sea? I exclaimed ’What?” how in the world could we do that. However, we actually did. For a five feet five inches tall person, walking in five feet deep water is sure a suicidal mission. However, people, I actually did. Walking against the force of the waves, having big waves splash on your face and sometimes over your head is frightening. However, it felt fantastic!

When we decided to return to the shore, we realized that all the sun protection stolen by the seawater, we thought we would have got the darkest shade of brown on our skin. However, to our surprise, the tan could be hardly seen. I must say that if you really want to enjoy summer, go to a beach and chill!