Why So Serious? - Travel Diaries, The plunge, Day 1 – Part 2

 

Welcome back… Why so Serious? Donno what this this all about? Well spend a couple of minutes reading my earlier blog…you’ll get what I am referring to!

Without further ado, let me take you the second chapter of my travel diaries.

We booked a 8.30 a.m. flight. As you are aware unlike earlier we had to be at the airport 3 hours prior. We woke-up at 4 in the morning and reached the airport at about 5.15 a.m. by the way I was still pinching myself to check if this was really happening. Yes it was…Yayyy! (Image Sources: Google Images)

We checked in!...its only after we passed security did I actually believe this was happening! Since we woke up quite early, we decided to have some breakfast at the airport. Whilst we were having our coffee, my friend looked at a lady and said ‘Dyum here pants are so cool, I never get them, wish we could ask her from where did you get them’. Don’t be amused, girls are girls…you will be surprised what we did later!

After much contemplation, my friend walked to her, complimented her for her style and asked her brand of pants she wore….hope you guys are getting now what this trip is about! Do what you have never done before…just go for it. I am a compulsive buyer at the airport…I did what I had to do..bought a nail polish…heheh

We bought our bottles of water…interestingly the bottle of water at the coffee store was Rs.40 and that at the water dispenser was Rs.10 for a liter of water…what a rip off! I am literally re-living my journey…phew! Ok ill spare the airport details.

After a 2.5 hour flight (of which I was sleeping like a log for the entire journey and that too sitting in the center seat while my girlies were chit chatting) , we landed in Chennai. We were waiting for our cab driver, who was late, to drive down to Pondicherry. Now Mr. Ramesh kept us waiting for some time but when he finally came, we were relieved. Thus, began our 3 hour drive to Puducherry (pondy). Oh the journey was amazing. However it started pouring, little did I know that it was monsoon season in Pondy. It was a damner for me as I don’t really enjoy travel during monsoons…but I made my peace with it. As we drove closer to pondy I was amazed to see the backwaters on one side of the road and the sea on the other. The beauty of nature had just begun to unfold. After a 3 hour drive, we reached our hotel ‘ Villa Du Ocean’

They say when you stay you need to look at - Safety, Cleanliness, proximity and should be economic. Villa du Ocean was a good bet. The place is situated at a stones throw away from the promenade, the cathedral, the best eatries. The roof top restaurant where we had our breakfast everyday was a fabulous way to start the day. We could see the sea, the cathedral, and eat in peace. The staff was very co-operative. The rooms were clean and had a vintage touch to it. I cannot forget the key...it made me feel like I was entering a haveli! Being at the heart of white town...i think it was the best choice we made!

Once we checked in, we decided to freshen up. Step out for lunch come back and rest. We were told that there was this place Villa Krish which was good. It was decided then, Villa Krish it is. You cannot imagine the kind of food we had…it was sea food galore. The menu looked like a tounge twister ROFT. But the food was mind blowing. Fish, Prawns, Pasta, wedges flowed! The pineapple crumble was amazing….although we were in splits the way the host was pronouncing it…phew it took us a while to understand what he wanted to say.  Since it was a roof top eatery we had friendly visitors (crows) who wanted us to share food with them….It didn’t really bother us as we were so focussed on laughing and enjoying our food….enjoying the view!

We left Villa Krish with a happy tummy. We walked a little bit and headed back to the hotel to rest…we needed an hours sleep atlest….The day is not over yet. Learn more about Day 1 in my next blog! Keep reading

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why So Serious? - Travel Diaries, The plan – Part 1

The current environment we are living in has taken a toll on our mental, physical and emotional health. As 2020 took a toll on me personally – I personally felt ambushed on all fronts work wise, home front and emotional front as well…I was very close to succumb to it. It was then my family and friends came to my rescue. I thought it only befitting to share how amidst all this madness we did take the leap of faith, we did heal and we did get our life back. Atleast, we made an attempt.

Let me begin with the plan.

I was at the eye of the tornedo at the time the planning began. Work wise we were at the last 3 months of the year closing and with revenue pressures mounting, I felt like the walls were closing in. Our weekly calls with my friends and family used to keep my sanity. Suddenly, out of nowhere in one conversation, the birth of the WSS (Why So Serious) group came up. Wait! Before you come to any conclusion let me assure you, its not inspired by the Joker! It was inspired about our life, our wellbeing.

 Image Source : Google Images

2020 forced us to the brink of hopelessness. We started taking every small blink seriously life seemed to be like a burden. The question was ‘Why have be become so serious’ ‘Why can we, for once take the leap of faith and just travel put all our inhibitions about our surroundings to rest. The planning began with one thought – Lets be optimistic, be focussed, give it to the thought that people called madness and give that madness a little push! Thus, took the birth to the ‘only girls’ trip. Part one of the WSS – Travel Series. The trip was planned on one premise – we be ourselves, do what we want, live, speak out, experience what we want to experience and enjoy the moment!

Image Source : Google Images

  Well, there it was, we decided to give ourselves 9-10 days for the endeavor and decided to begin our 2021 with a promise of optimism, happiness and prosperity of health, mind and body.

The first step was to decide, where do we go? South, North, East, West. Phew! Good question..first lets decide the direction we need to go. Well since North and East were newer territories for us, we thought let’s look at West and South. Now the next, do we need touristy destinations or something soulful? Hmm…all unanimously thought soulful seems like it. Now next what are we drawn towards…unanimously again ‘Water’. So, what’s less touristy and has fab beaches…aha…direction was decided – South!

Next where in south? We wanted a place which was partially known but no one had travelled to that place, not too far, had multiple places around to roam about and gave us the liberty to sprinkle a two more places to visit in the given time we had planned for. As I told you’ll right at the beginning, my life was topsy-turvy, it was kind of my two friends to take the lead and focus on the planning. I was a part of the discussion and was amazed by the minute details taken care of my auricles!

After a lot of deliberation, we agreed that we need to get some good sun at the beaches, some fabulous food and yes enough and more eye candies. Thus, on the map of India, one place stood out – Pondicherry! Yes, that was the first place on the agenda. Now we started looking around to check if there were other places we could accommodate. The second place was a quaint place which was less known but had some history to it. Have you guys head of Tranqybar or Tarangambadi? I thought as much. Neither have I. You will see it through my eyes in the following parts…I assure you of that. Now the last leg had to be something which would inspire us. A land of art, history and stories that could take us a few 100 years back – Mahabalipuram it was. The last leg. So, this is what we did:

-          Identified the places

-          Decided the days we wish to stay

-          Decided the places we want to visit within the core destinations

-          Planned the trip such as on returning, we would be closer to the Chennai airport

-          Booked the hotels

-          Booked the air tickets…..and

Walah….all three started to bring our dream to reality!

Honestly, I had never been to any of these places, hence it was a mystery box for me to unwarp! The mystery which I will unravel in my write-ups to come!...Keep reading…

Confessions to my diary!

Dear Diary,

You are the only person who I can pour my heart to…you listen to me and understand me. As a matter of fact you even give me advice. So here’s my problem…

You like him. He likes you. But he doesn’t want to commit. He’s happy with the arrangement now. You taking the initiative, you listening to him, you fulfilling his wishes and fantasies, you spending your money, you planning, he relaxes, he resting since he ‘worked’ and last but not the least, you not asking him to spend time with you as you ‘understand’. Despite all this, he speaks to you ‘when he has time’. He meets you ‘when he has time’. He decides where to go and what to eat and so on and so forth.

So clearly from this, you feel that the MAN is demanding and the WOMAN here is a submissive good for nothing or should I say a prodigal woman. Now, this is where were women are so very wrong. In fact what we forget is that we stop being mindful of ourselves when we sacrifice things for people around us. It doesn’t matter if its your husband or boyfriend…do not forget ‘you’.

The funniest part is; despite all these when your H or BF starts ignoring you, you go out of the way to justify it. You will first check the traits of his sun sign and give the benefit of doubt. You will also check what to do to ensure that he is happy and also look for advice on how you need to react! If not then you will look at his workload, his schedule and justify why its ok for him not to call. Its ok for him not to respond. When it comes to clothes he would want you to cover your self up…but is ok ogling on other girls with skimpy clothes? Its ok for him to talk about his past relationships but it's not ok for you to even mention it. He will keep asking how has he been with you…and if you are mum…it means you are unappreciative. But when you ask him…and he doesn’t answer..it means ‘love and appreciation has to be felt’..better unsaid as it is pure! We usually put up with a lot of this rubbish and still end up forgiving them as we really want things to work…or rather it is expected from us as we are the ‘giving’ species.

The feeling of always being in fear of not to do something to upset him as he may leave forces you to do things you don’t want to is agonizing. The feeling of always being at the crossroads is scary. How to deal with it and what to do is a question no one can answer but yourself. Are you telling me that the quick fix is abstaining? If he has not kept in touch…let him be. I should stop stalking him? Never check his status, or check anything about him….like the last time he was online…his social media updates…nothing?… I think it will be super tough the first day…by the end of the 3^rd day…I will be super sorted?

Wow, dear diary…that seems like a doable thing…I agree with you that what is yours will come back to you and will stay!

4 signs that you need to moveon…business analysis of relationships

I am not a relationship expert. But sometimes when I look at people around me, I ask myself questions….when I can see it…why can’t they? I am sure that people will say the same things about me as well.

To give you a perspective, let's talk about the signs whether the person you like is into you? It will probably help you see things clearly and save yourself from some agony.

They say men are from mars and women are from venus. But to be honest, when you are in love or in a relationship or just having a fling, your mindset is never gender bias. When two individuals meet, one person's heart always beats faster than the other. Now that basically means, the person whose heart beats faster will always take that extra effort to be closer to the other person. Finer things like greeting the person the first thing in the morning, checking on them, complimenting them, encouraging them to speak about themselves, sharing the most sacred moments and memories.... among many other things…The other individual will always have the advantage to ‘choose’. Does this mean that the person who is smitten is an ‘idiot’. Not really!  He/She is what I call the ‘Angel Investor’ in the relationship. Expectations are clear…but is there a guarantee it will fly ‘not really. But still, they take the ‘leap of faith’. On the other hand, the other party is what I call ‘Opportunist’. Now how different are both of them and how would you know as an “Angel Investor’ when to pull out from this relationship before it bleeds you is very interesting.

                                               Source:Google Images

You know when our Angel Investor (AI) sees some sort of spark in the ‘opportunist’ which he/she believes is worth pursuing that’s when they invest the three most important things – Time, emotions and monetary aspects. The AI doesn't look for any reasons to delay, default or for that matter event be stingy to spend these three things on the relationship they wish to nurture. On the other had the Opportunist has honestly nothing to lose. They know that the basic headache is that of the AI as their investment is at stake. They will go with the flow. They get all their perks, salaries and if need be work a little to show that ‘the investment is worth something’. In many cases, both the parties work and nurture the relationship and the barter is always equal. In such cases, you will see a successful relationship. This usually culminates into a relationship where they believe in nurturing a family. In some cases, although both the parties put in equal efforts beyond a point they realise that their goals are different and being in this relationship will not keep either of them happy. Such couples part amicably i.e. equally sharing the profits and losses.

Now let’s move on to the most complicated issue. When the Angel Investor believes that this is a good investment and the Opportunist is just making hay while the sun shines. During this scenario, the AI invests wholeheartedly. The AI always makes time to meet ‘O’, is usually quite accommodating to understand the problems faced by ‘O’ for not delivering, meeting, responding or acknowledging. AI will always have that ‘one reason’ why they must invest. But the ‘O’ will have 10 reasons for not doing things. So how can the AI see the signs? Actions speak louder than words. Some motherhood statements are said for the ‘heck’ of it. They mean something.

First thumb rule. Engagement and conversations are key to a healthy relationship. ‘No one is too busy for a call or a chat’. Anyone who prefers keeping the communication gap and differences has not intentions of nurturing a relationship.

Updates. Now, this seems like a business term. But in relationships as well, when you look forward to sharing every aspect of your day, it means this person is looking up to you for advice, care and love. For this purpose, keeping in touch regularly is a must.

Knowing the key stakeholders. When someone introduces them to their close circle then it hints that you are important in their life. It means that the investment the AI has made is becoming an integral part of their life.

Accountability. Now, this is a tricky one. The ‘O’ knows that ‘AI’ is actually convinced that the investment is good. But if ‘O’ says it’s their call, I will check if this suits me, I will take the shots, I am not accountable for any expectations or assumptions made by AI then this is a warning signal for the AI.

There could be multiple other signals but these are primary signals that you as an AI will need to watch out for. Investment of Time, emotions and money have to made very selectively. It has to be equal. There has to be a level of mindfulness at every step. If you feel that at any given point your self-respect and integrity are at stake…pull out.

As an AI there is a higher risk of losing your investment. The bigger danger is when you lose more than your investment. Hence see the signs and pull out immediately. If the ‘O’ realizes and tries to come back, you set the rules. If a single rule is breached walk out…never to turn back….it hurts and hurts bad….but when you walk with your head-up….you move on easily!

Growing up!

One day we just cross paths, destiny is what I thought

Flawless English and good orator, can take this forward I thought

We spoke, we spoke again, its nice to finally meet a person you can converse with I thought

Then we became a part of each other’s day, it’s a good feeling I thought

You warned me, don’t have expectations, I don’t have at the moment I thought

Meeting was great, super bonding, what’s the harm in taking the leap of faith I thought

Days went by, our bonding grew, hey its nice we are getting to know each other I thought

Met your friends and family, maybe he really likes me I thought

Shared his every problem and predicament with me, he trusts me I thought

Worked through his tough times hand in hand, I like him I thought

He appreciated every small aspect of my contribution, he loves me I thought

Stops doing the small things he used to do, he’s too tensed with his work I thought

Spoke lesser every day, he is too busy I thought

Didn’t speak for few days in a row, moms unwell so he’s tensed I thought

Stopped speaking, subtly its over but I need closure I thought

Never responds to any message, he wants to say in person I thought

Met him personally, didn’t show any remorse, Coward I realized

A lesson well learnt I thought

All that shines is not gold I realized

Destiny will make you cross paths with people who will leave you in a lurch

You need to keep your chin up and move on I realized

Life is too short, learn the lesson, grow-up!

Different versions of your Valentine….!!

The Human life cycle is very unique. The whole concept of love changes with time.

There is a point in time when your sibling getting a slightly bigger piece of cake makes you feel that your parents love you less. When your sibling speaks to his/her friend makes you think they love you less everything revolves around your family. Then comes a phase when ‘that look’ ‘that smile’ ‘that attention’ matters the most in the world. It’s that ‘first time’ love experience that matters the most over and above your family and friends. At this point in time, if it blossoms it’s like the world is at your feet and if it crumbles it’s your first heart break…..which for some is easier to get over and for some it’s an itch for life!

As much as the stage of your teens is usually when you first experience love, which actually are all those wretched hormones playing their games, I personally believe it’s the purest form of unconditional love. Worst part of

Source:Google Images

this period is that you are ready to put up all the possible quirks of your valentine. That is why I believe that people marrying and having a lovely life with their childhood sweethearts are the luckiest. Having survived all the stages is indeed a blessing.

The next stage of your 20’s is quite tricky. That’s when you are mentally still a kid, a carefree person, full of energy, but you are expected to grow up! Look for a job, be responsible among other worldly pressures imposed on you. During this period, you look for a person who is smart, dynamic, adventitious, go-getter, talkative and so called ‘full of life’.  Everything about this person has to be about the perception he/she creates about themselves in their circle. Usually you will find people blending better with their workplace mates. The common belief is since I spend so much time with them, they know me. They understand me. We share similar interests. Thus, when you meet someone like this, and you are under family pressure you think, hey since I spend time with this person, I think I like him…how much will it take to love him…ya…maybe after marriage I will love him…afterall marriage is all about knowing each other more…..Valentines day at this stage is all about holidays, partying, boozing, hooping party places, pubbing, clubbing etc.

The next stage is your 30’s when you are mentally and financially stronger. A person who knows their priorities and preference. A person who has a clear idea about their ‘valentine’. At this stage, a girl looks out for a person who will respect, her, give her the freedom she needs, give her a comfortable life and enforce his likes & dislikes on her. A guy will look for a woman who can share the responsibility, be independent, be more responsible and look good. Valentine’s day at this stage will mean partying at the best places, sit down dinners, holidaying, diamonds, boozing and clubbing. Usually your valentine is a person who is hot and super fun to be with.

The next stage is your 40’s when you are event more stronger mentally and financially but most importantly you are extremely practical. Your threshold to listen to gibberish & nonsense is limited. You prefer being with someone who you can have meaningful conversations, you look for a person who can sees into your soul. You look at people who enjoy the serenity of nature, the serendipity of falling in love with your immaterial personality, understand conversations, have fun but in moderation, enjoy soul searching and last but not the least, make sure you have your individuality! Valentines day at this stage will mean, giving a tight hug and an outing at a cozy place or what better than your house!  If its an outing, its usually to a place where there will be soft music in the background, good food, wine and some diamonds to bring some sparkle in the eyes of your lady love.

In your 50s’ if you have the same zeal, you will re-live your 40s’ here. Nothing much changes until you are 58. But honestly, the moment you take steps closer to your 60’s you just want to appreciate your better half or just become extremely critical of your partner. Your valentine will be the person you love to argue, fight, mother, care, smother with love, and relive the life of caring for your kids which now is none other than your better half. Your Valentines day is usually sitting next to each other looking at the sunset, sipping a cup of hot tea and munching some biscuits. Talking away to glory about how time passes by and how you are blessed to have each other. How you would’ve done things a little different or how would have life been if they were not in your life…….and that my dear friend is the true Valentine that our soul searches right from the first time we experience love. We never realize that the true person who has seen our soul, who has accepted us with our quirks….just like how our parents did when we were kids, just like we loved our parents despite all the scolding…..unconditional and pure!

Speak to me….I am always listening…

Many a times in our lives we just let go…it could be something we liked, it could be an idea of a vacation, it could be a much desired dish we wanted to eat that day, it could be a piece of jewellery we always wanted, it could be meeting an old friend, it could be a dream job we wanted, it could be a dream we wanted to pursue….just because we thought this was not meant to be!

We love telling to ourselves…IT WAS NOT MEANT TO BE….and messing our head in the future that ‘WHAT IF I HAD CHOSEN THAT PATH’ ‘WISH I HAD TAKEN A FIRM STANCE’….we keep giving reasons to ourselves for why it was best for us then. Not once we tell ourselves, ‘ITS NEVER TOO LATE’. We usually give ten reasons why we cannot have it. WHY DON’T WE GIVE OURSELVES THAT ONE REASON WHY WE WANT IT AND WE SHOULD TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH!

In life, we usually believe that if there is a slightest doubt of failure, it’s better not to tread that path. For once we should ask ourselves what could be the worst case scenario. Experiencing failure, heart-breaks etc is a part of life. But atleast you know what went wrong. If you don’t try, if you don’t take the leap of faith you will never know what success or failure tastes like. There is a quote I read somewhere…if you want to really learn and come up with a fantastic idea, visit the graveyard of businesses. You will find so many learnings, you will fine so many stories which will give you good perspectives. You know the good thing of all this is you will know ‘WHAT NOT TO DO’ you will know ‘WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT IN A PERSON’ you will know ‘WHO TO TRUST’ and many such things what people will not tell you but their experiences and failures will tell you. Again this will not guarantee success. But at least it will make you wise.

                                                 Image Source:GoogleImages

In relationships too, we always aspire to fall in love with the person for their quirks and then try to change those very quirks! We never believe in conversations, we never believe in talking out to the people who matter so much to you….and we conveniently just let them go away…and suddenly the person who you used to start your day with and end your day with becomes a total stranger….The concept of closures, the concept of understanding each other’s quirks, simple conversations is lost. Worst…. technology has made relationships emotionless! You believe in sharing your emotions through smilies and emojis but do you mean it? No one knows. If there is something you messaged or left a voice call on how you feel which is being mis-interpreted, people don’t even bother to check is this what you meant? Rather they just prefer to let GO! Is it that people had vested interests and since they realized they are not going to get what they wanted they ‘conveniently’ just LET GO!

DON’T LET GO OF RELATIONSHIPS AND DREAMS JUST LIKE THAT…..YOUR HEART ALWAYS SAYS ‘SPEAK TO ME …..I AM LISTENING….in the end everything always works out!