Will Capital Punishment for Rapists help?

Every time an incident like a minor’s rape, brutal sexual assault and dowry deaths are reported and the convict gets away, I ask a simple question to myself does India really deserve democracy? Would India be a different country if we had monarchy or President’s rule like back in the 1970’s.

The reaction: "If you thought just bringing in a new law will stop crimes, your are wrong. They will reduce, but won't stop. You need community policing to stop these crimes," activist Kiran Bedi told an Indian TV channel.  Nation-wide protests are being observed, the parents of the child are absconding, the prime minister is grieved, and film starts are tweeting their thoughts or updating their FB status with short poems. But will this help?

I have often wondered why are the accused escorted with their faces covered the whole world must see their faces and they must be defamed. This could be my anger and resent speaking but can someone for once think rationally what can be done to deter people from committing such hideous crimes? How can we as alert citizens at every level contribute and try our level best to save children & women.  In many countries in abroad, people (irrespective) of the age are convicted to 25 years of imprisonment for having physical relationships with minors even if it is consensual.  If they are convinced of rape worst murder, the imprisonment will be far harsher. But what has India done so far? A person in the recent past with psychotic tendencies was put in juvenile court because he was underaged? Why has our judiciary system not for once thought of amending the age-old laws. Times have changed and so should our laws don’t you think so?

There are very limited editions in our laws since our independence, with such incidents my belief in the law and order system just gets diminished by the day. Even if the system proposes capital punishment, it seems highly unlikely these incidents will stop. Wondering whether the middle-eastern law of stoning ht accused with work? Honestly, the crime is so grave that the darkest things come to mine when deciding what punishment would be best.

For now, it seems like we the common men and women must now step up! We will have to take the law and order in our hands to show that we are not meek and if anyone and I mean ANYONE touches our children or women, they will have to face the brunt of the public. The government must take quick steps or there could be an uprising……

Haunted for life…..

If you think this blog is about a ghost then you are wrong! It occurred to me last night that we say/do so many things during our life, knowingly & unknowingly, that makes us regret for the rest of lives. These deeds or words of ours, although not literally meant, do not permit us to undo thereby scaring us till eternity.

I am sure many of you must have experienced this but I particularly remember this since I miss my dad a lot and there are some things that I said which I cannot undo and I wish to god I had not been so awful.  Our parents bear the brunt the most and so do our siblings.

I am sure many of you in a fit of anger tell the standard dialogue to your parents when they scold you for not having dinner when you decided to eat out with your friends without intimating at home -  ‘I never asked you to cook they why do the favour’. When you don’t meet their expectations and they remind you of how they have always fulfilled your demands/needs, you must have responded ‘Big deal that’s your job, that’s what parents are meant for or do’. When your parents bring you something and you say ‘Geez I didn’t want this you could have brought me the other one (or) who asked you to buy when you don’t know my choice. When you are on your mobile doing work or watching TV and your parent wants to speak with you, you lash out and say ‘God why don’t I have my privacy, will you be please let me be or leave me alone please’. In such instances, if you get a chance to say sorry in your lifetime it may be as a memory you will cherish since you got an opportunity to undo the wrong doing.

However, imagine when you are terribly busy making your career and your dad says ‘there is a nice place there we need to go there for coffee’ and you reply ‘not now latter’ and the next you know your dad has passed away and that ‘latter’ will never come, you can never forgive yourself. These words will haunt you for life. You will repent throughout your living days for not having spent that quality time with your father. There are many such instances I know off when people have said ‘I wish I never had a dad’ and next they know, god has answered their prayers! In such instances, the haunting with remain throughout your life till you take it to your grave.

Source: Google Images

They say beware of the tongue since it is boneless and has not limit to the harm it can cause. But if you train your tongue with your heart you could reduce the damage. The only thing that can save you from this torture is apologising. There is no better feeling than going back to the person who you have hurt and saying ‘sorry for what you said’ or ‘have done’ and meaning it from your heart.  Am sure you can do this much to save yourself from being haunted by your own deeds for life!

Lonely in a crowd......

Humans are social animals...this is what they say. In layman terms then humans would constantly need people to be around them. But if you think seriously, there may be many instances in your life where you would prefer to get your corner seat at a resturant or a place in the garden, not seen to others, and just love to sit there alone. Have you every wondered that why the bathroom is the favourite place in many people's life? Its because this is where you get absolute solitude...i.e. MY TIME!

Am I different?

In my lifetime I have experienced that situations like these are usually crated by various factors, your attitude towards life, your work, your family or simply you. If you are primarily a reserved person, you will feel lonely even in a party since you think networking is not required or its simply trying to be a wannabe. If you have had a rough day at work, then a simple question like 'how was your day' by you mom could tick you off. So to avoid any clashes you prefer to abstain from any conversation..result you prefer being alone even when you are with your family. If you have prying relatives constantly interested in whats happening in your life, why are you not married, do you have a boyfriend or simply prefer to irritate you then you are alone even in a roomful of relatives. I am sure there are many such instances you could relate to but the question is this the right thing to do. 

Have observed that this is a common experience when you join a new place. You remain a stranger in your surroundings from quite sometime and that really kills you sometimes. Worst are the scenarios when you loath in inferiority complex. Sometimes you simply feel small for whatever reasons it - could be your beauty, your physique  your financial status your dressing sense anything. If you are fed-up of being lonely you could turn out to be a good submissive. So the big question is 'Is it better to cut off or wear a mask and put on your happy face and act normal?'

I did speak to a couple of friends about this and to my surprise all of them agreed that it is very important to have the 'MY TIME' to get some perspective. Wearing a mask depends on the requirement of the situation but may not always help. The 'MY TIME' helps you evaluate the emotions you are going through and answers some of your darkest questions. This however is applicable for grown-ups. With kids its a reason to worry since they are so full of confusion that often leaving them on their own could be dangerous. If you have  experienced such moments in your life it would be worthwhile if you could share. Your experience on how you dealt with it could help people overcome their apprehensions and maybe not feel LONELY in a CROWD!

Falling in love with a CACTUS!

Its really funny that some love stories can be so short.  Worst the reason for break-off is so stupid that people find it hard to believe like a mere STUBBLE!

When Tia met Rajiv, his bronze skin tone, 6 foot something height, lean frame and not to forget his stubble, made her go head over heels. She thought that THIS was indeed the MAN for her. When they first started going on , things were really nice, the cozy hugs, the evening coffees, the long walks and little surprises. Tia would look forward to one call from Rajiv and would plan her day accordingly. They started going steady in November and had their first kiss on Tia's birthday, 30th November. This was something that Tia thought would be bliss and one to remember! Much to her dismay it felt like her face was being rubbed by a cactus...Yikes! She maintained her

silence like a lady and smiled after the kiss was over. He looked at her lovingly and said you are my angel...That was enough for her to forget the 'Cactus effect' and crave for his love even more....

On reaching home, Tia first hugged her mom. She was happy but a comment from her mom startled her. 'Tia why do you have red blemishes on your cheek and chin?' Tia replied 'Oh! nothing mom. could be some skin allergy... That was the first time I looked at my face and was aghast what a stuble could do to the tender skin on your face. The next time I met Rajiv I told him about Mom and laughed it out! We did laugh about it and kissed again. Yes! without a doubt the same 'CACTUS effect' Ughhhh! Even while we were on with it, my mind was wavering..'How do I tell him that this hurts, this is horrible...I feel yucky...what if you have lice? oh god...I was going insane.

After few weeks Tia realized that she did'nt  look forward to meeting Rajiv. Although she really liked him, the very thought of him....nudging her, rubbing his cheek against her skin...gave her creeps!!! She didn’t know what to do? Should she give him a Gillette Shaving kit? or Just maintain her distance? or Talk it out with him. She failed to understand that why could a handsome hunk like Rajiv not understand that SHAVING was as important as BRUSHING your teeth or taking a BATH.... her mind was exploding....she had confused feelings and thought it was important to take it up with him. So the D day finally comes, 31st December! When they met Rajiv was very happy! he came close to give Tia a peck on her cheek...and she immediately moved away. Tia could see the WHAT HAPPENED look on Rajiv's face...and he asked 'Is everything ok hon?' and Tia instantly replied NO!...then started the MUCH NEEDED CONVERSATION!!!

Tia told Rajiv...'It seems to me like I have falling in love with a CACTUS!!! as expected he exclaimed...HUH! and she replied 'Look whether you like it or not basically as much as your stubble looks smart...it is horrible! your pricky stubble makes me push you away every time you kiss me our bring it close to my skin. The very feeling that it is unkempt makes me feeling disgusted...Try to understand Rajiv....it really hurts my skin and is a total turn-off!!! Rajiv was all aghast! He could'nt believe his ears...But the lucky gurl that Tia was she couldn't belive what he said next 'Hon you should have just told me....I hate it myself. Your friend Tamanna told me that you thought it looked smart that is why I would grow it...Damn!!! You know I love you so much that I was ready to have this 'THING' on my face... Tia could'nt belive my ears!!....Rajiv HATED the Cactus as much as she did...she wondered 'Gosh why did i wait so long.....Geez stupid me!' So after spending a while, they parted. By this time although it was the year end...they decided to meet early on the first ....NEW YEAR...NEW BEGNING! When the day dawned....Rajiv came to pick Tia up..this time clean shaved...smart...and to die for....MY KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR!!!! thought Tia...and thus they lived happily every after!

So this is what Tia do?...'Just talked to him how she felt....and got rid of the one thing that she hate the most....the CACTUS!!!

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Ghar ke nuske for straight & shiny hair!

I will lie if I say that 'I am not jealous of a girl with long straight tresses'.  Having scanty, dry, frizzy and wavy hair can be a big curse since your crowing glory defines you in some way or the other. Thankfully my Nanima, a naturalistic, shared different natural ways of getting your hair frizz free.

- A hot olive oil message twice a week does wonders to your hair. It makes your hair straight & shiny hair
- You could use aloevera juice on you scalp twice a week to give you the much needed shine and frizz free hair. Surprisingly your hair also straightens with regular application
- Nanima would make an oil with coconut oil, castor oil, some fenugreek seeds, kadi patta leaves, and badam oil. regularly applying this warm oil on your hair makes your hair straight & shiny.

Today I am happy that my nanima's nuske worked and today I have good straight shiny hair!

Jealousy can turn you to a little Bitch

Thanks to the media today, we hear horrendous stories of crime committed simply because of jealousy. Initially it is hard to believe for the victim family that they have been wronged by the people they considered their own. Have you wondered why this happens? How does jealousy nurture in you? How and why you feed it and make it nice and plump ready enough to commit a crime so grave that there is no looking back.

I am no ‘preacher’ to preach that everyone must be happy in others happiness and ensure that at no given point must jealousy ever take over ourselves. Let’s face the fact that we are humans and are always hungry for more. If someone else gets something we wanted so bad, we refuse to see the hard work the other person has done to deserve it and simply ask’ Why him? Why not me?’ Now that is when the seed of jealousy germinates within you. Worst when you see people around you doing well and you, for whatever reasons, are not blessed with good luck, this seed starts taking root in your life. You will observe that there is a sudden change in your nature. Suddenly you are happy no more. You get more and more irritated by people around you let alone your friends. You will start getting irritated even with your family and start picking fights. From a straight forward person you become a gossip monger first. The idea is to know rubbish grapevine about the people you are jealous of. Why? Simply so that you can weave a story against them and make it so big that it overpowers their goodness or success. That’s the first step of harnessing jealousy. Worst if that does not tarnish their image, then you find reasons to fight with them. Now any good peace loving person would not want to get into a fight. However, if you are able to make this person fight in public and behave like the victim, wolah! Your mission is accomplished. The question is what do you do when the person you want to destroy does not retaliate. You adorn the cape of a witch. You create a bad situation involving someone close to the other person and blame the innocent person you are jealous of for the mishap… There are many other stories/facts which I have heard of and the ones I have listed out are the much lesser violent of. You will be surprised that one find day when you confront these kinds of maniacs, you will realize that they have so much venom for you that you are ashamed of ever knowing them. I have learnt the hard way to identify such maniacs thought my little litmus tests. Am sure you have come across them too. But you must identify such venomous creatures before it is too late.

What really worries me is the question is why? Just because your children are unhappy does it mean that other’s children have to be unhappy too? Just because you are not in good terms with your family, why does other’s family get together be an issue for you? Just because you are stingy enough not to buy a car why does the other person owning a car become an issue? There are too many why’s here but no one knows the real answer as why my life matters to you in the first place. Guess when people believe in Karma and simply do good, good will always come back fivefold. When they focus on simply doing well, and believe that the hardships are to make them strong, the happiness of others will never be a matter of jealousy for anyone.  At least my life has taught me this – Jealousy can be the root cause for all your unhappiness. Learn to acknowledge the happiness of others. Share your happiness as you share your sorrows and all will be well. Keep a watchful eye for the Trojans’ disguised as well-wishers, you will see signs, the sooner you track them the better!

Someday..Someway ..Together we will be…

Destiny can bring together people living on opposite poles ..as friends..then lovers..then soul mates…its only faith that forces destiny to work its charm.

When you are single….never been in love, you often wonder has god created that someone special for you? As usual there is no answer from your gut. This uncertainty usually runs a shudder through my spine. However, somewhere in my heart I believe that its upto to me to want that someone so badly that nature has to send him to me. We will need to first meet..ignore or befriend each other. If we ignore then there should be multiple instances for us to met..and force to acknowledge each other. Hate each other if we have to ..but must have some emotional attachment..either love or hate.  Destiny has its beautiful course of giving you hints that ‘this is the person I choose for you’. Destiny is also kind enough to create situations in your life when you do realize this if you have missed it by any chance. The beauty of this entire drama is that you are being given a script..but you don’t know what is the end. You are given your part but you don’t know you are playing it. You have to play the emotions but it comes to you naturally…

Unknown are the ways you will meet your soul mate. Unknown are the ways you will realize. But it will happen. Small things will suddenly matter most to you.  You may purely ignore the first time you meet each other. The second time there could be some ‘side walk’ conversation. The third time you will develop eye contact. Gradually you would grow fond of that person to an extent that you wait in anticipation to speak or even get a glimpse of that person. You may force your self against it…try to avoid, ignore, be rude…but it wont work. The magic will soon engulf you and you will fall for each other for sure. Someday, someway..nature will bring you together!