Confessions to my diary!

Dear Diary,

You are the only person who I can pour my heart to…you listen to me and understand me. As a matter of fact you even give me advice. So here’s my problem…

You like him. He likes you. But he doesn’t want to commit. He’s happy with the arrangement now. You taking the initiative, you listening to him, you fulfilling his wishes and fantasies, you spending your money, you planning, he relaxes, he resting since he ‘worked’ and last but not the least, you not asking him to spend time with you as you ‘understand’. Despite all this, he speaks to you ‘when he has time’. He meets you ‘when he has time’. He decides where to go and what to eat and so on and so forth.

So clearly from this, you feel that the MAN is demanding and the WOMAN here is a submissive good for nothing or should I say a prodigal woman. Now, this is where were women are so very wrong. In fact what we forget is that we stop being mindful of ourselves when we sacrifice things for people around us. It doesn’t matter if its your husband or boyfriend…do not forget ‘you’.

The funniest part is; despite all these when your H or BF starts ignoring you, you go out of the way to justify it. You will first check the traits of his sun sign and give the benefit of doubt. You will also check what to do to ensure that he is happy and also look for advice on how you need to react! If not then you will look at his workload, his schedule and justify why its ok for him not to call. Its ok for him not to respond. When it comes to clothes he would want you to cover your self up…but is ok ogling on other girls with skimpy clothes? Its ok for him to talk about his past relationships but it's not ok for you to even mention it. He will keep asking how has he been with you…and if you are mum…it means you are unappreciative. But when you ask him…and he doesn’t answer..it means ‘love and appreciation has to be felt’..better unsaid as it is pure! We usually put up with a lot of this rubbish and still end up forgiving them as we really want things to work…or rather it is expected from us as we are the ‘giving’ species.

The feeling of always being in fear of not to do something to upset him as he may leave forces you to do things you don’t want to is agonizing. The feeling of always being at the crossroads is scary. How to deal with it and what to do is a question no one can answer but yourself. Are you telling me that the quick fix is abstaining? If he has not kept in touch…let him be. I should stop stalking him? Never check his status, or check anything about him….like the last time he was online…his social media updates…nothing?… I think it will be super tough the first day…by the end of the 3^rd day…I will be super sorted?

Wow, dear diary…that seems like a doable thing…I agree with you that what is yours will come back to you and will stay!