Saturday, January 4, 2014

He who helped me find ME!

There are people who do not really have low self-esteem but yet doubt themselves. They just need that one person who shows them the mirror and introduces them to themselves. Some do it with words, some do with actions, some with gifts but how beautiful would it be if someone shows it through their lens!

Belonging to a family blessed with beautiful women, an average looking, olive skinned girls like me often faced comments which would lower her morale. This average looking girl who knew she was smart never really felt beautiful was ME! Reluctant to pose for pictures I would often give some reason to stay out of the frame. The only pictures I had, was of me in some unofficial pics i.e. not at family functions or special occasions. You could term it as low morale or low self-esteem. But honestly it was sheer irritating to see myself in pics as ‘Not pretty or beautiful’. It seems funny to me today but at that time even smiling for a picture was scary, what if my teeth look too white for my tanned skin, opening my hair was a big NO NO coz it would become evident that I do not have good lustrous hair like the others or for that matter wear western clothes or well fitted clothes as I am quite FAT! In short I was one ‘SELF LOATHING, PHOTO SHY PERSON’ until 2011. So what did change is the multimillion dollar question?

In 2011, one unsuspecting lens was catching my different moods, using his creative eye he’ through his lens’, he did the unachievable – showed a reflection of my inner beauty in my pictures.  I could not help but dedicate one token of appreciation to my best buddy Santosh Shetty who gave me salvation. At first the pictures he shot of me, unsuspecting initially, actually made me realise that I do have quite expressive eyes. In the shots to come I realised that I do have a smile which is straight from the heart, a genuine frown, and most importantly, honey toned skin which is actually a boon. First time in my life when I would see the lens point at me, I would strike a pose and SMILE! Something I never could believe could happen in this life time. I started feeling beautiful from within…something which I had never experienced until I actually now. Thanks to him today, I have some the best shots of my life. Different moods all captured with the perfect smile, the look, the inner happiness and lots more. All in all, I feel absolutely CONTENT & HAPPY, a feeling which somewhere I had forgotten. He often tells me that I am really pretty and unfortunately he is not able to do justice to my pictures. I mean often I feel totally dumb fold merely listening to this.

The overwhelming feeling of how an extremely good friend ‘Sandhya Shetty’, who kept telling this to me, was actually true as Santosh Shetty gave me the concept of proof is something no one can fathom. I had no doubt about his creativity as his pictures could create meaning from inanimate objects, but to actually change a perception of a living being was difficult to believe.  I have believed that gratitude can be shown in many ways, tell to the individual personally, get a good gift, take them out for a wonderful evening, but this time I wanted to do something different. Something that I thought could do justice to how indebted I am to him and how it has brought so much of positivity in my life. That is me today! Thanks to you, I believe now in to....

My sincere dedication through this blog to you Santosh Shetty for making me FEEL BEAUTIFUL in my own eyes.  Since you helped me find ME a few words from a poem called FOUND by  Ronni Merriweather to tell what you taught me Santosh Shetty –

“But if you look in a mirror again, look with open eyes
So if you don't like the out, you can take a look inside”

Thank you so much. Wish you your lovely wife with loads of happiness and joy.