Marrying a person who loves me, having a home, nurturing a child within me and bringing them to this world, nurturing them and having my own family has been my sole ‘want’ in life. Having got everything else but this in life often makes feel very low. The void is something I can never fathom and the fear of leading a lonely life often runs a shudder through my spine. The question that keeps pounding the door of my life is ‘Is time running out?’ ‘Has is already run out?’ ‘Is there Hope??’
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Many years back when I used to give teach kids, I used ensure that I teach students often referred to as ‘Hopeless cases’ which meant that there was no chance of them passing. I used to focus on boosting their confidence and always ensured that they pass. To a certain extent I was successful. Today when I meet them it feels good to see a confident & successful young person who was otherwise a subdued individual. It feels good that I managed to make ‘some difference’ in someone’s life. Today when they thank me and share that I ‘did’ make a difference in their lives it makes me feel nurturing need not always be limited to your child. Nurturing people who need your help when no one else does is also worthwhile. It gives me hope that if I have genuinely done good in my life...good will come to me!
When I started working, I passed on the same sentiment. Over the years when my juniors ‘then’ come back to me saying ‘yes’ you did make a difference in my life…the feel good factor gives me hope. On the brighter side, there have been people in my life who have constantly been the pillars of my life. They have shown me that life is not always about ‘being in a relationship’ its about ‘being in the right relationship’. My focus often is on ensuring that every relationship I am with my family and friends are meaningful and I truly believe and want to be in them. Seeking happiness in others happiness and being with them when they want me gives me a sense of completeness.
Being around kids, seeing their innocence, playing with them gives me the feeling of overcoming the void. Seeing the sun rise everyday after a long dark night, seeing a bud bloom into a flower, seeing a bee collect honey every day, seeing a child learning to walk after constantly falling makes me belive that my ‘want’ from life will be fulfilled. Its god’s way of ensuring that it came at the right time…that’s the Hope my life is clinging on too!