Thursday, May 24, 2012

Falling in love with the wrong person!

Opposites attract…we must have heard this phrase over a million times. As a matter of fact if we look at couples around us, we observe that every individual in the couple has opposite traits of the other. Then the question is how in the world did these guys meet? Why of all people did they choose each other? What is the underlying feeling of falling in love with the person who you are not? Is it destiny to fall in love with the wrong person?
I must share one such conversation, which quite amused me. I met an old family friend who is nearing 80 years. I had the good luck of spending quality time with him during one of my visits to his place. He worked in a bank all his life. Lived a very systematic life, likes to maintain a strict regime, plan agendas, ensure to dress-up prim and proper, loves to eat good food, loves to travel and most importantly keep himself busy. Its obvious, given his age, that he had an arranged marriage. He married a beautiful looking happy go lucky girl, 10 years his junior. Being quite simple, she never really bothered to dress up prim and proper from head to toe, she hated cooking and travelling and loved to sleep and laze around. Stunned? Well this is the fact. They spent the next 50 years of their life together and never really fought until now. Do you want to know why? Well till he was hale and hearty, he would always go out on his own, eat out whenever he felt like, caught up with his brothers  for a drink and lived life on his own terms. Thus indicating that he himself was capable to suffice his needs and wants. But there came a time when he had to undergo an operation and his movement was restricted. He had to rely on his wife and children for many basic things. That’s when he got time to think about how his life had progressed and he realized that he did not fulfill any of his wishes. prior to his retirement, he had planned to visit a lot of places after his tenure.But alas! since his wife was not interested and prefered to stay at home, that plan did not materalised. At the dawn of his life he realized that all his life he was married to the wrong person and wished that he met one person who would share his interests, someone with to have a 'heart-to-heart- conversation and be his friend in his old age.
Another such case is that of a very close friend of mine. She is a person who doesn’t really have a check list. Prior to her marriage she believed that when the time is right, her man will come in her life.  She however always knew that she would anyday prefer marrying a person who refrained from smoking and drinking, be witty and predictable.  Guess what, she fell in love with a person who loves drinking (but not an alcoholic), loves smoking (is a complete chimeny), is quite shy but few pegs down and his emerges to have the persona of a different person altogether. But yes! she did take the plunge! I must say that he is a wonderful human being though but nothing like I envisaged she would get married too. When I look at her today being happily married (touchwood), I ask myself over ten thousand times, how did she know he was right for her when everything about him, 'according to her in him' was wrong. Someone once told me that ‘Lovers meet but never mate ; Fate will always introduce you to the other lover’ and now after looking at such fantastic examples, I truly believe in this. I have also agreed with what my mom always tells me ‘Couples are made in Heaven, someone somewhere is always there for you. When you meet him/her you will be surprised. Obviously since they are topsy-turvy version of what you thought your life partner would be!’ So don't shy away from meeting the person who is 'not your type' for all you know, he may the 'wrong' in your eyes...but the 'right' person for you!


  1. The concept of a dream partner is influenced by many things around us ranging from the social expectations about a partner, testimonies of friends already in a relation and own concepts.

    When you interact with a person you will learn more things about me and some unknown qualities which you never considered as a criteria may start to influence you. The reverse is also possible with a dream man, as you learn more you will see some bad aspects of that person even after being perfect in paper.

    So interaction is the key point, we will definitely find reasons to like a person when we know him more closely. The same interactions can find reasons to run away from that person.

    Thank you for sharing and all the best for your search

    1. Totall agree with you Gopal. Many a times your 'perception' of a person or the ability to have 'first impressions' often push you away from your life partner. If only you give the chance to interact more and know the person more you realise some good things which you never thought were important then...but in due course of time will prove to be the foundation of your relationships!

  2. Hi Naina,
    A refreshing take which is true to life - "Lovers meet but never mate" - I too have observed this happen.
    Keep writing such wonderful posts

    1. Thanks Vikram for the appreciation. I am glad you liked my post. Have written a new post 'Lovers meet but never mate'. Hope you like this one too!


  3. Hey naina,
    I realy enjoid readin 'LOVERS MEET BUT NEVER MATE'.Loved reading this one too.You are right its only opposits that attract,it happens so because they will have different flaws,different ideologies,different habits.Just imagin two absolutely perfect individuls as a would be like living with a mirror image or a twin,life wouldn't be fun at all.A little tiff,correcting flaws,making mistakes and learning from them,and accepting the flaws in echother makes life worth living...

    1. Thanks Sia....I totally agree with you and I guess that is why god made LOVE...You can show your love to the other only if you are different from with a twin can give you a comfortable boring life..the spice is when you learn and live new things....