The year gone by…

Every year brings promises, positivity, optimism and hope which make us believe in life.  I experienced a beautiful year which bought so much of appreciation for something called life that we never live. I thought of sharing a feeling bought by every month during the year that made it so special….

January – The leap of faith. In life when you build a wall around you, you feel that’s your safe zone. Breaking that wall and seeing how beautiful the outside world is something every person must do. This month I took the leap of faith, broke the walls and saw the beautiful world. And yes it was very very beautiful. My heart, soul and mind felt good, liberated and on seventh heaven.

February – Bonding. When you know that your family needs something more than just your presence, you go out of the way to make them feel you care. I learnt a little more, I loved a little more and realised that bonding of hearts is more important. This is possible only with conversations. Being surrounded by kids who you adore and love gives you a different sense of bonding. New friends, new family members all made this month a month of bonding.

March – On top of the world. The month is special to me because it is the month I was bought into the world.  Every year this month, irrespective I make it special for myself. It bought me joy, happiness, love, respect, togetherness with all my loved ones. It made me feel  special, wanted and loved!

April – Focus. Work has always been demanding. Sometimes it is difficult to understand whether work controls me or I control work. This month is was a huge struggle to maintain work life balance. The tug-of-war was immense. But the fighter that I am I managed and won. It was focus that kept me on my toes and made sure that I achieved my goal. Kept everyone happy including myself.

May – Togetherness. The month was only about togetherness. Family get-together, happy times with friends gave me happiness that I could not fathom. I decided to get drowned in this positive aura around me. It was the most memorable month of the year for me apart from ya March!

June – Stability.  Both in my personal and professional life this month saw stability. Everything was moving in a direction that I wanted so desperately – cool and steady. With everything under control life felt so good. For the first time in many years I felt stable, secured…..and most importantly happy!

July – Doubt/mirage. Eyes don’t lie. Its true. Behaviours speak volumes about whats going on in your mind. On closely observing people around me, it occurred to me that I need ask myself a question, am I seeing a mirage? Is everything around me real or is it made to feel real. The reality test is required. Some introspection is required. There was something that I could not put my finger on…what was it…something is not right my heart and head screamed. Something was wrong somewhere…why why I cannot see it…

August – The test. They say when you keep something close to your eye you cannot see clearly therefore its important to distance yourself from it. The aura and energy around you doesn’t lie. The look in a person’s eye doesn’t lie. Therefore I decided to be more observant.  The month made me realize that all that is seen or shown is not true. There is a truth far, more ugly, beneath it. I asked myself do you the courage to face it. The answer was yes. My own shortcomings were seen. I put myself to test to know the reality, to know the truth…….

September – The Reality. Cards were revealed, masks were removed, monsters were unleashed, and deceit was bestowed during the month.   An era of ‘difficult to accept ‘was something I had to face.  Sleepless nights, night sweats, unbelievable agony was unleashed.  The very feeling that you are amidst a tornado which will ruin and destroy everything you every owned or had was scary. All you could think of is how good you have been and how you are blessed by your parents and god.  But the reality was something I had to face, it hurt and hurt bad….

October – Facing the reality. I realised that I was good soul as I could not hate people who had done wrong.  When you know you have always been blessed by your parents and your belief if god is unshakeable, you become stronger than you can imagine.  Living in isolation would force you to continue believing in the mirage or bubble you were living in so I decided to face the reality. The mantra was ‘bring it on’. So I did it. Faced the reality, every bit of it and realised that its time to bring to rest every bit of apprehension, every bit of trust and every bit of hope. All you had worked for seemed worthless. Every time you thought you excelled was actually perceived as your shortcoming.  It was me who had to face it and turn the leaf. Work with more vigour, focus more than ever and spring back. I had to me!!!

November – Acceptance. Words, words, words that you tell yourself are good. But what do you do with a mind which keeps going back to the short comings? What do you do with your heart that has hope?  Nothing!  The solution is to let it be! Time will show you your capabilities and strengths. Your focus should be on you. You should realise that you are the good and today or tomorrow you will be blessed.  Its time to focus on new goals, new beginnings….

December – All is well its time to look ahead. Lesson learnt now its time to look forward. The best pact is when you accept your shortcomings, you become wiser. Now you know what NOT  to do. The good part is despite the ups and downs, I have not lost myself. I still believe in people. I have become wiser. I still believe life is beautiful ….the only time you need to look back is to check how far you have come