Friday, March 24, 2017

When I wanted to bond….

Being an accommodating person sometimes can be a curse. It is misconstrued as a person who does not have an opinion. A person, who is incapable of proving his or her stance in a discussion/debate. A person you can manipulate, insult, belittle, ignore, abuse etc…all simply because he or she just understands you and doesn’t want a conflict or to hurt you.  So the question is, Is it good to be an understanding person in a relationship? Are these traits required only for a woman?

I read a good post today : A daughter tells her father, “Dad I don’t think I will be a good daughter or a daughter in-law or wife’. Her father asked her ‘Why’ she replied ‘Because I will not compromise in my life’. This speaks volumes about the role we women play in our lives. When we are kids, our parents will always say, ‘Don’t laugh loudly, girls should not do that’, “Its ok if you don’t get a new dress’, Learn to live without some things’ ‘Try to be low maintenance, your husband will be happy’ ‘Don’t voice your opinions, its not good to be opinionated’ “When you ask for permission for a picnic or travel' the standard answer is 'Go with your husband" and many more such preposterous statements. Can anyone in this world understand a woman’s predicament?

When you are looking for a guy to get married, he makes a statement, I am an average Joe, you cannot have any perception of me but I do have my strong views and thoughts. You cannot influence me or tell me your quirks, I will not buy yours but you will have to accept me the way I am. Can someone please tell me 'how are you supposed to react?' Isn’t it a simple equation, I am a human, I am a person of character, I will have a certain way of living life which are in-line with the way I am bought up. If you have liked me then you have to accept me the way I am and not mold me into someone I am not. I will not want you to change your way of life. All I will want you to do is respect me and love me….bond with me like we are meant to be together for life…

Remember if we end up together, all we will have is each other. It is the ability to make conversations that will keep us alive. It is the ability to have accepted each other the way we are that will change the words ‘tolerating each other’ to ‘loving and bonding with each other’. We will need to discover each other with each passing day. That is all I am asking from you. You never understood me, probably never wanted me, probably got bored of me….I don’t know….all I wanted was to bond with you. I was just being me….there was no pretense……..but I guess after you said Enough of the niceties….I just gave up!