What do Women want?

Many a times people think that they are not worth the person they care for or love. Is it one way to outright reject the person and make the other person feel special or better? I really don’t understand this as why don’t you let the other person decide what is good for him or her. I am sure each of you reading this must have heard/come across/ or even experienced this. Have you ever wondered that ‘why people think this way’ is it the love for the other person ? is it a politically correct way of simply rejecting people or is it their fear of being rejected. Perplexed? So, am I and honestly it really drives me crazy to think or fathom what’s going on that person’s head when they say these words.

So what I have tried to do is assimilate all the apprehensions in the persons head as my own and articulate what forced them to say so as well as write what the person at the receiving end is thinking. Usually men think that women want ‘financial stability’ and ‘good looks’ in a relationship among the top few in addition to all of them listed in the picture.  They believe that every beautiful woman they want will get hitched to the richest guy in the room even if he looks like a local goon.  Therefore, if they are attracted to a girl and considers her a good friend they ‘in their head’ make up a story where they see themselves as individuals who are unable to fulfil the financial needs of their counterpart and/or lack good looks to suit her. The most probable action of this low esteem  is to move away from the girl and be a silent admirer. When their close friends ask them to give a try the standard answer is ‘No yaar, she is too good’ ‘She doesn’t deserve a person like me , she deserves someone better’. Thus to cut the long story short, the effort is never made and a beautiful relationship is nipped at the bud!

Now for some girls, ‘financial stability’ and ‘good looks’ matter a lot…no denying that. Having said that, most of the ‘financially independent’ ‘smart’ girls, these two factors are last or second last on the ‘so called list’. Reason is simply, she is independent therefore she can help in ensuring that both bring about financial stability in the relationship. If she is drop dead beautiful she will sort for guy who can fund her lifelong beauty treatments. However, if she is grounded and smart, she would want a man to suit her intelligence and live and let live.  Boys! Try to make your girl comfortable in your presence. Make her feel good but ensuring that small things are taken care of eg: opening the car door when she get’s into the car, keeping a track of small things of what she likes, make her laugh, respect her, never make a joke of her ‘in a negative way’ in front of friends, light jokes are fine keep the conversations on and last but not the least always acknowledge her small kind gestures. So event if he does smoke, drinks a little, doesnt like pets, divorced, has kids, has some financial liabilities it does'nt matter the only two best gifts you can give her are your TIME and ATTENTION.   

So next time if you think you are emotionally weak, not good looking, not financially stable etc etc etc because of which you are not worth her, cut the crap! Just remember, you need to ask her out. A woman would always stay with a guy who takes the first step…its not EGO its called simply being a GIRL remember we want TIME and ATTENTION!

We are in Love but just don’t know……

When we first met, you were just another person,

When we first spoke, you were someone I did not want to remember

When we met again, nothing was special

When we spoke again, I thought I would not remember, but something changed

Don’t know when and how you sank deep into my heart

Wish I knew this from the start

Don’t know when and how you became me

So much so that the fear of loosing you forced this thought to flee

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel that you love me

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel that it’s not true

Sometimes I Know; Sometimes I feel we are scared

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel we may never say…..cause we are in LOVE but we just don’t know!

You are a free bird and so am I, Together can we fly?

Too much fear, too much thought has drifted us apart

Can you accept me and so can I

Are we just afraid to accept that this will work and are scared of being happy that we won’t even try

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel that you love me

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel that it’s not true

Sometimes I Know; Sometimes I feel we are scared

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel we may never say…..cause we are in LOVE but we just don’t know!

Not sure what the future has in store I have never yearned for more

A man with a heart of gold whose hand I can hold

Walk past all the ups and downs of life as his loving wife

Raise a family with love as beautiful as a white dove

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel that you love me

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel that it’s not true

Sometimes I Know; Sometimes I feel we are scared

Sometimes I know; Sometimes I feel we may never say…..cause we are in LOVE but we just don’t know!

- Naina

He who helped me find ME!

There are people who do not really have low self-esteem but yet doubt themselves. They just need that one person who shows them the mirror and introduces them to themselves. Some do it with words, some do with actions, some with gifts but how beautiful would it be if someone shows it through their lens!

Belonging to a family blessed with beautiful women, an average looking, olive skinned girls like me often faced comments which would lower her morale. This average looking girl who knew she was smart never really felt beautiful was ME! Reluctant to pose for pictures I would often give some reason to stay out of the frame. The only pictures I had, was of me in some unofficial pics i.e. not at family functions or special occasions. You could term it as low morale or low self-esteem. But honestly it was sheer irritating to see myself in pics as ‘Not pretty or beautiful’. It seems funny to me today but at that time even smiling for a picture was scary, what if my teeth look too white for my tanned skin, opening my hair was a big NO NO coz it would become evident that I do not have good lustrous hair like the others or for that matter wear western clothes or well fitted clothes as I am quite FAT! In short I was one ‘SELF LOATHING, PHOTO SHY PERSON’ until 2011. So what did change is the multimillion dollar question?

In 2011, one unsuspecting lens was catching my different moods, using his creative eye he’ through his lens’, he did the unachievable – showed a reflection of my inner beauty in my pictures.  I could not help but dedicate one token of appreciation to my best buddy Santosh Shetty who gave me salvation. At first the pictures he shot of me, unsuspecting initially, actually made me realise that I do have quite expressive eyes. In the shots to come I realised that I do have a smile which is straight from the heart, a genuine frown, and most importantly, honey toned skin which is actually a boon. First time in my life when I would see the lens point at me, I would strike a pose and SMILE! Something I never could believe could happen in this life time. I started feeling beautiful from within…something which I had never experienced until I actually now. Thanks to him today, I have some the best shots of my life. Different moods all captured with the perfect smile, the look, the inner happiness and lots more. All in all, I feel absolutely CONTENT & HAPPY, a feeling which somewhere I had forgotten. He often tells me that I am really pretty and unfortunately he is not able to do justice to my pictures. I mean often I feel totally dumb fold merely listening to this.

The overwhelming feeling of how an extremely good friend ‘Sandhya Shetty’, who kept telling this to me, was actually true as Santosh Shetty gave me the concept of proof is something no one can fathom. I had no doubt about his creativity as his pictures could create meaning from inanimate objects, but to actually change a perception of a living being was difficult to believe.  I have believed that gratitude can be shown in many ways, tell to the individual personally, get a good gift, take them out for a wonderful evening, but this time I wanted to do something different. Something that I thought could do justice to how indebted I am to him and how it has brought so much of positivity in my life. That is me today! Thanks to you, I believe now in to....

My sincere dedication through this blog to you Santosh Shetty for making me FEEL BEAUTIFUL in my own eyes.  Since you helped me find ME a few words from a poem called FOUND by  Ronni Merriweather to tell what you taught me Santosh Shetty –

“But if you look in a mirror again, look with open eyes

So if you don't like the out, you can take a look inside”

Thank you so much. Wish you your lovely wife with loads of happiness and joy.